Giraffe Four Done


I've no idea why I am using that title really. I think I might be a little sleep deprived or something. Just as I was working on the latest draft during the week the title for this rant popped into my head and I chuckled away to myself.

Sign of a bad comedy writer there, when you laugh at your own jokes with nobody else around to validate if they are or aren't funny.

Hell I probably should have ran that title past the ladyfriend before using it, but too late now!

It has been a while since last posting an update on the latest Filthy Henry novel, because: life. Life tends to get in the way of a lot of things. That and the fact that my previous tablet I was using for writing had a strange battery issue which meant I was getting less work done on the commute. Thankfully the ladyfriend figured I was a good boy last year and I've a shiny new tablet to work on.

Productivity is returned.

Now if only I could get away from that pesky day job, everything would be golden.


I've finally closed out draft four of Stolen Stories. Few more plotholes closed, few questions raised in my head that I need to mull over. I've done the usual cut that tends to happen as the stories evolve during the writing process. It isn't exactly ready for general consumption, but the story is getting there. Dublin Comic Con is in August, it takes a month to get books ordered for the con. Loads of time, unless Life gets in the way again... when is kid number two due again? ;)


Year of Fruit


Many moons ago, more than I care to count, I stumbled upon wonderful websites that printed your images onto clothes.

This was a dangerous time for me. Basically I spent days designing up t-shirts and then come payday I would order a bunch of them. Depending on which site I went with the results were varied, but then the images played a factor in this quality as well. It was a learning curve for all involved.

By the time I had discovered these sites the Jester logo, Jesty, had been around for about four years. After spending well into the hundreds on t-shirts I decided it was time that Jesty was put onto something.

A hoodie.

Like the crest of a school or university, Jesty sat with pride on what rapidly became my favourite hoodie. I even stopped ordering anything else, having reach self-designed clothing heaven in my books :)

Through the magical means of word time travel we jump ahead a few years, to when I met the ladyfriend. As happens, the beloved hoodie of mine became the beloved hoodie of the ladyfriend. Any time she was in the apartment that myself and H lived in she made a beeline to get that hoodie, even being annoyed when it was in the wash.

Sidenote, it was in the wash because I hadn't worn it since the last time she had stolen it.

Such is the way of things.

Then, one day, disaster struck. The ladyfriend decided to make dinner (this is the not the disaster) while wearing my hoodie as it was a bit nippy (still not the disaster) and figured a tomato sauce based dinner was on the cards (we're getting closer). I usually help with the meal making but on this particular instance a mate rang looking for a quick chat, so I was out on the balcony taking the call. When I am on the phone I pace, it's just a habit I have. As I paced back and forth I could see into the apartment through the balcony doors. Four pacings later disaster struck.

The ladyfriend had trouble opening a tin of tomatoes and through a sequence of events we, to this day, have not figured out she burst it open.

While wearing my favourite hoodie.

It was like a war scene. Man down, mainly covered in red sauce that was soaking into the grey material with each passing second. All while the ladyfriend just stood there, in the scene of carnage, looking cute and confused in equal measures.

Hoodie down!

That one was tossed to the bin after a few attempts to save it and another hoodie ordered, which basically became the ladyfriend's new hoodie. One she took great care to not cook in and even greater care to hide from me at every given chance.

Seriously, we've moved house/home three times and I never seen it packed but it made the move into her clothes drawer.

Anyway that is a long winded story to bring you up to speed on why her anniversary present this year was so great.

See when we got married, this day four years ago, I had a plan for what the first anniversary present would be. We stuck with the traditional list and the present theme was 'paper'. Now we sometimes play fast and loose with themes and have it as close to as possible, but the theme still has to be present.

This year the theme was "Fruit or Flowers", which doesn't really give a lot to work with. Except the ladyfriend trundled off and brought back a nine year old joke to bring me this:

Look at it!!!!
Look at it!!!!

Not only is this a new jester hoodie with Jesty on it, one that I am assured (we shall see) will not be commandeered by the ladyfriend, but it isn't a print. That is embroidered onto the hoodie.

Look at that stitching! Just look at it!

But how does it tie in with the theme of "Fruit or Flowers" for the fourth wedding anniversary gift? The hoodie is a "Fruit of the Loom" one :)

Like I said, sometimes we play fast and loose with the theme.

I think it would be safe to say that in the "game" of who got the best present the scoreboard was 3-0 to me, but this year the ladyfriend raced ahead and stole the show.

Happy Anniversary baby!


Stolen Stories - Draft 3


I have literally, as in five minutes ago at the time of writing this rant, just finished draft number three of Stolen Stories.

Just like when I was working on Accidental Legend certain elements of the story have changed greatly since the first draft. A few new ideas or jokes came along, one or two plot points just didn't work and were completely written or cut entirely. Going into draft four I have two pages in my workbook of things to fix up and areas that I want to tweak and make better.

If only writing was my full time job I'd have so much more time to get it done. Alas I have to make do with the time I steal from other parts of the day.

Overall though I am happy with how the book is coming along. It is a good story and I think overall it progresses Filthy Henry and Shelly as characters in the strange world that I have built.

Now I will take a couple of hours off before starting on draft four.


Tags: filthy